1.8.09

...for our Feature Presentaion !

what am i still doing in the city??
i should be camping, or parting it up someplace...
its a long weekend here in toronto...

so here i am, blogging...like WTF right ?

its precicely 6:00 am, dark, but the sky is glowing orange and a nice blamy 16 degrees celcius...

so what the fuck am i doing up at 6am u ask??
well... for starters, i havent slept a wink...
ive been hazed on leaf all day.

U know when u buy a new laundry detergent and u luv to smell it like poppers the 1st time u use it.
or when u find a strange pair of underwear, and u sniff em to check if their clean...and when u smell some piss or cum on them, u just keep on sniffing them like u were visiting Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.
Well, when i open a fresh bag of weed... i tend to overindulge the 1st day...ok, and mabey the 2nd...

its like putting a nice bowl of triple chocolate ice cream with blueberries on top in front of me during a nice hot summer day.
Give a dog a bone, and he's bound to bite it :)

....ok, im not gonna blog on my vacation fucking now...
im gonna blog fresh...
europe is hazy today, so it'll be hazy tomorrow...

so im supposed to be outta town right... but i had to run a bunch of errands and needed some R & R time to just chill since returning back to work... so i decided to stay put tonite...
updated some blog shit.... pay some bills... log onto bbrt... check the facebook mail... put out the garbage...make some din din... asian dumplings and edamame beans... yes... how Yoga eco-stoner Healthy. Listen, ill be eating garbage camping for the next 2 days... all Pigs need the proper nutrients !! Then i washed down 2 bowls of cereal with a scoop of ice cream...That was the pot kicking in....so im thinking fuck this pot...its gonna pudge me up if i dont cut back some... so i light me up some more leaf... and head out for a jog... the sun is fading... the garden sprinklers r comming on... the city is pretty dead on long weekends... most people take off for the cottage or the lake or someplace other than this bleak humid city. so i hit some cruising grounds 15 mins into my jog... so what do i do... i light up... fuck me...
Jogging and lighting up a joint while im stretching... fuck... they dont come as fucked as me...
i notice some guys lurking around... but not much... so i drift into the bush and then realize i cant see shit...
the spotlights from nearby headlamps is too weak....and their's no Moonlight tonite... oh SHIT !!
im stoned, dizzy, and can barely see fuck... i bet i was walking around aimlessly, pushing branches, spider webs and leaves outta my face for 20 mins. if u had night vision goggles, im sure i would have been a fucking hoot to watch.

so i find myself back to a mainlit path, and just light up again...
You'd think id learnt my lesson the 1st time !!
no.. its the Willy Wonka effect...thats what i call it....
like dude... when ur boned n stoned,
just go with the flow...

that and for some reason, the more pot i smoked, the more fluorescent the bush became...and i could see the trails and paths more clearly... dude, it was almost like an LSD trip....
so i stumble over these 2 guys... i kinda give em their distance...and slowly approach... i could barely see shit, but they continued sucking cock, so i guess they didnt mind... and well frankly... i was the hottest shit in the park that night...

im sorry...
i dont always think im the hottest shit...
i hate walking into a bar full of muscled effeminate muscle mary's full of attitude...
but if ur taking a walk in the park, and everyone is just kinda blah and average looking and doesnt really stir ur dick, well...ur probably the hottest piece of ass there :)

so.. the guy getting sucked is young n tall from what i can tell, and the guy on his knees looks youngish and white, but i cant tell...he sees my throbing hard dick and dives in for a taste... he's actually a pretty good cocksucker... so i force him to deep throat my dick... then buddy's... then back to mine... till he's gagging...and buddy luvs the way im forcing him, so he starts getting verbal with him too... well, cocksucker gets up, and i get a good look at his face and cringe... he wasnt fugly.... but he looked like a 40'something piece of trailer trash and spoke like one...
well that ruined it for me...
so i wander off... and bump into this latino like looking dude... he starts giving me head and he's really fucking good at it... i was face fucking him for ages...so i feel up his little culo, and he's got this smooth tight ass, and he likes getting his pucker played with so i spit on my fingers and feel up his hole... he's totally into it, but i think he blew a load when i started rubbing my dick up against his ass, cause then he got soft, his dick felt slick... so he gets back down on his knees and starts to suck me again... but i was done with him... i cant stand guys who cum that quickly... jeezus, i hadnt even sucked his dick... so then i light me a smoke... and this weird looking guy cums up to me... he's like the Taxi Driver's son... he was in this long sleave dress shirt with khakis on, and wore this ridiculous looking hat... im generally not attracted to Indians or East Asians, unless they act really "white", dress "white", and arent too Paki looking...know what i mean ? so this dude is like the closet case Paki toronto Taxi Driver's son cruising the bush...

so i ignore him...
then he approaches...and tries to touch me... and im like "Back the fuck off pak !!"
and im sure i looked pretty icked out...
so what do these icky guys do?
they lurk around more...
he comes back up to me, and im like dude, back the fuck off !!
so i walk away... and they follow and lurk...
he swoops in again and talks to me in some broken paki-english giberish...and i push him off me this time, throw him against a tree, and threaten to put a gihad up his ass... he sorta stumbled away like a child with no money at the candy store....
fuck... later pako !!

i dont mean to sound racist... but i dont have to fuck with every pak, jap, spic, kiwi, brit, jew, wop, afro, tsar, gimp, or Abdul either. just because ur white, doesnt mean id fuck any of you... god only knows there's alot of fugly white guys around too...

so... who do i bump into in the bush... a Uki...
tall, muscled...wearing camouflage shorts and hiking boots with blong hair... fuck, i hit me some soviet dick...
so he bums a smoke off me... we start chatting... and i start feeling up his dick... he's got a nice package...so i take him into some brush... pull down his pants and start licking and sucking his creamy hard shaft... nice 7-8 incher on him.... yummy... he goes down for my dick... but he cant suck dick for shit... so i get soft... and then paki Taxi Driver's son starts circling us like a vulture... eventually walking right past us, when i sorta subconsciously pushed out my arm, causing him to fall onto a bush and stumble away cursing the day he met me... LOL !!!

i was done with Uki... too bad i didnt feel like bottoming, i woulda taken his nuclear soviet torpedoes up my stern... but he didnt look like he was gonna share his Chala buns either, so i took off...

i let my high wind down in the bush a bit longer and then headed for the jog back... well... i didnt jog... dude... stoned... just a sweaty power walk...

so i hit a nice protein shake with juice... and im so horned up... i get online... blah blah blah blah blah....
i stroke out a load watching some hot porn... and head to bed...
but no...
no sleep...
just horny...

who says the wolves still dont howl with no moon?

so i get back online... light me a little leaf, thinking... fuck, if anything, this shit should be help me pass out...
so i chat with a cpl late nite piggies...
one of em is from outta town...staying at a downtown hotel.

tells me he's got 2 loads up his ass
so i put on my sweaty jogging clothes...
...and i realize i pulled off the perfect decoy outfit for a downtown hotel fuck...
if i get questioned at the door, ill just say i went out for a jog, and my girlfriend is upstairs waiting for me with the key (wink at the concierge)... and on the way out the door... u look like a regular hotel patron, heading out for a jog....

problem is, u cant pull that shit off here in the winter... ur wrapped up in coats, boots, hats and mitts... everyone looks ridiculous showing up for fucks in the winter... the fun part about winter, is u can make stripping off the layers the fun part... peeling each layer off slowly.... summer time... fuck... whip off the tanktop and shorts, and ur fucking Nekkid !!

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ok... its precicely 7am now... and sunny
see how long it takes to write ?? all that took an hour... non-stop....not even a pee brake !!
ok and im starting to poop out... i needs me a nap...

so i get to the cumsluts hotel... cruise in the front revolving doors....hop in an elevator cab, and upstairs we go...and i look around the elevator for a camera... i adjust my cock anyways and feel it up... i couldnt care less if i was being watched... so i get to the door.... i told him to leave it ajar.. but i guess its hard in a big hotel... last time id been to that one, i fucked some flight attendent... or did he fuck me? i cant recall...
oh well...
so buddy opens up... he looks cool, gottee, mod hairy, whitey...and i can tell he's a pig... so he shows me in... and hops into bed... i just rub my dick, poke out my middle finger and becon him towards my dick... he crawls back to the foot of the bed and starts sucking my dick... and fuck... was he good... perfect pressure, lots of spit... no biting... and swallows it hole... just the way i like my big dick sucked... just the way i like to suck dick :)

after a few mins of skull fucking and throat reaming... he was slobbering lots and gagging all the time, so it just made the skull fuck hotter... i felt up his ass, and started to work it open... spit on it... found some lube on the nightstand... squirt some on his hole... some on the dick... and slide that fucker in...

i gave him a pretty hard ride.... musta fucked him 6 different ways, just pounding on his ass forever... i was fucking him for at least an hour... and im surprised he could take it...
id pull out and make him suck my dick...and shove it back in his ass... i wasnt being overly aggressive... i just wanted a hole to get off in... and this guy def knew how to use his. i threw him on an armchair facing the window and pounded away at his ass from behind... the sky slowly getting lighter with every couple of thrusts... i could see the lights turning on in other buildings and offices across the street... and i wonder if they can see us fucking... we're watching each others reflection in the window pane.. well, i was... his face was burried in a pillow.... he was begging for more dick , so i just kept on ramming it up his ass hard like i was on speed...
pot can have either effect on me...
make my dick droopy, or super hard...

i eventually nutted up his ass... and continued to pound it in for another 5 mins... after i pull outta his now loose cummy shitter... i just fingered his ass and pinched his tit while he jerked off and came...
fuck... dude
i just pounded the guy's ass for over an hour...
i think he deserved a little credit...
a little finger, pinch n pull... and he shot all over his bedsheets where he was gonna sleep...

so we chat a bit...
he's blushing about the hard fucking and my nice dick...
im like (smile) "yeah yeah...thanks" ....
i hear the same shit and compliments all the time...
i actually genuinly appreciate them...and i try to accept them gracefully...
cause after u hear the same shit after each and every fuck a couple times a week, for the last i dunno, 15 years.... well fuck... u sorta get tired about hearing about your big beautiful dick... fuck
tell me about all the loads in ur ass... or about all the slutty sex clubs u went to...
lol

oh... but he did say he was from Hollywood
and im like, oh yeah!!
..and he admits to working for Disney...
...seriously...

i just fucked over & bred Disney....

mabey i can land the BonedNstoned Disney/Pixar movie deal.
i can write the script...
i can get porn actors like Dawson and TitPig to do the voiceovers...
add some house music...
it could be hot...
cmon...

hmmm... what reputalble media company would even touch my blog...
its dirty...
its filthy...

guess i just have to start my own company :)

later

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im fucked...
so yeah boys... i need to crash... im bushed now...
the sun is up... the wolves need to rest in the batcave...

i woulda blogged about the bottom jew boy who came over and i fucked him sensless for 2 hours, sweat pouring everywhere... but alas, no cumloads shot....
something tells me, BottomJewboy knew or suspected i was "BonedNstoned"....
he talked to me about all this shit... and i suspected he was dropping me hints, to find out if it was really me...or not really me?
get it?

Listen....attention all Pigs...
If u all bent over in front of me right now, and said, fuck me, I wouldnt necessarily.
I dont want u attracted to me, because of me being a blogger...
Id rather u be attracted to me for me... and me being attracted to u for being U... its that simple....

so Jewboy... after fuking him senseless for 2 hours and not cumming, goes to his bag on his way out the door, and tells me he's missing like 30 dollars from his wallet... and he's like "Did u take it?"

Dude? Me... take 30 dollars? From a filthy cumdump Jewwhore like yourself ?
Uh huh...

fuck... i hate cheap fucking jews... he kept on going on and on about his money while he got dressed to go.... so i run into my kitchen and throw the bitch some bus change... 2 hours of ass pounding cost me $3.25....

i guess thats means i owe Disney 2 bucks....
if i had 2 bucks for ever dick ive had up my ass.... hmmmm, well... i think that would definetely buy me a hot tub :)

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And now,
For our Feature Presentation
... i dedicate this fuck vid to JJ

...for being the the 1st pig with the balls to readily admit he know's about my blog to my face...

...im sure there's a cpl more of you out there who know..
and you're all a bunch of pussies :p
and u know what pigs with big balls do to pussies...
we fuck those bitches up :p

cheers

enjoy the Feature Disney presentation :)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG Dude... this one if fucking hot!

Anonymous said...

hey man. i just found your blog. goddamn, i love it. even the way you talk turns me on. helps me fantasize you dominating my ass while i watch he hot videos here and jack off :)

i love how you also write so much when you're stoned. sounds pretty familiar to me! keep the hot shit up, man. thanks!

Robert

Anonymous said...

fuck, bro.....if i met you and knew you were the writer of this blog, i'd have no qualms about asking......it'd be a fucking turn on to get naked/nasty/fucked up with you.

Anonymous said...

You should think about changing the name of your blog to stonedNracist.

BonedNstoned said...

Eh Cunt !

Done.
I changed the name.
its
SuckMyFuckinDickNkissMySweetAss blog :)