Coulda Shoulda Woulda ....

fuck...these french fuckers r hot....gotta luv walkin into a guys place & finding his ass spread winking at ur dick :)


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so yesterday...what a night... it wasnt all that exciting to tell u the truth...but i need to take in a few drags of this new shit i got....it's really strong...got twice the amt of it for the same price...and keeps me hard as all fuck...im getting me a kilo to carry around all fall....well...mabey 20grams...that should last me till say...hmmm....halloween...or fuk...sooner if my family drives me insane....brb

ok...much better now...i couldnt deal with being awake so early...think i only gots me 4 hrs of sleep...and i like to fuckin sleep, lemme tell ya :) i bought this little portable grinder...its fuckin awesome...it looks like a little metal yo-yo...but it opens up in two and its got these sharp teeth that grind up the shit...and its like a little portable carrying case cause the 2 pieces stay stuck together like a magnet...fuck...its ingeneious...now u can bring ur portable fresh grind to the party!! Everyone will just fuckin die at how clever it is...coffee just doesnt taste the same freeze dried...and neither does weed...the fresher...the smoother it burns...the better it tastes...and the least side effects u get...like sleepiness & limp dick...i dunno if i can call the munchies part of it bad...i actually like the munchies...its my stoned dazed opportunity to eat the junk i never would sober...and i luv eating...i never have much of an appetite, but get me tokin and i get fuckin huuuungry....1st all i want is dick n ass...then all i want is water....then all i want is dick again....then i want more water...then cum the munchies....and then...well u guessed it...more dick n ass.... And when my ass gets the muchines...it gets the fuckin munchies...it just wants to be fuckin fed full of fat throbin dick... And i could never deepthroat a 10"dick sober...or drunk...that would just make me puke....dope me up, and im good to fuckin go...

So...my night...last nite...fuck...interesting... I was out the whole fuckin day tokin around town...building up my little "stoned photography" album...my feet r fuckin killing me...its all walk walk walk in this town...jeez...i guess im too used to driving around in my fagmobile back home to notice i need to walk around more...friends always insist on picking me up...or having me pick them up....but i always tell em to get off their ass & walk & lose a pound...im nice aint i :) ...but then i always insist on driving them around too...cause fuck..when it gets cold in Canada...it gets Mutha Fucking Ka Cold....and there's no fuckin way im walkin in that shit for longer than i have to....fuck i dont wanna go back...ill probably have to shovel the fuckin sidewalk in october when i return...ok..its not that bad....but global warming shit is fucking up the weather....and everyone in toronto, who lives there...knows it! And u probably fuckin know it too...why has the weather been so freaky the last few years ehh!! ....ok last nite...i get in b4 dark...and my feet r killin me like fuck...so i takes me a nap to rejuve b4 headin out...well...this guy txt's me...we've been chattin oh i dunno...months...mabey a year or two online...he noticed i was in town and wanted to meet up...im like sure! he sounded like a hot fucker online...and spoke english which is a plus with me! I cant stand speaking half english/half french...half spanish...half italian to fuckin ppl...i just get annoyed and feel like finding the 1st irish or scottish fucker to go fuck off with....ill even settle for an american! Yikes...chatted with these American leather daddies havin a toke outside the bars last nite...R they fuckin fucked or what!! I dont wanna offend all my American fans and readers...i fuckin luv the fact ur nation and ideals r fucked up...and some of u r really kinky fuckers...and some of you r really trashy fucked up washed up trailer trash, and i luv u all too!! But what the fuck is it that excites all u capitalistic, loud, gimmer bigger, newer and better muthah fuckah's ??... U need to keep ur minds open and explore the world with a fresh set of eyes... Not everything is gonna be like back home...please, is back home all that better? No... Is ur Big fuckin Mac gonna taste different overseas...fuck ya...is the beer stronger n better...fuck ya... R ppl dressed all weird n stylish and make u look drab...fuck ya! just deal with it and go with the flow....this other american guy I chatted with over breakfast here where im staying, insisted the bitchy queen behind the counter make his breakfast for him...make him xtra toast...and didnt even eat half the fuckin shit...Why do u ppl waste waste waste!!...i made my own fuckin toast...just cause i didnt want the skinny nasty queen touchin ma food with his spidery little fingers that he used to probably pick his little tiny faggy nose with...LOL Fuk..im barely stoned and im ranting...so back to last nite....

The guy i was chattin with for awhile txt's me...lets call him Clark Kent...or is it Kent Clarke...i dunno...lets call him Mr.Bean actually....his younger and continental cousin....so fuck...i wake up, tell him im jumping in the shower, and tell him to txt me when he's downstairs...i barely get outta the shower & he's here...so i quickly put some shit on and get downstairs...i had barely opened the door, when i saw this skinny little guy all dressed in black with these Honking big black horned rimmed glasses waiting outside...im like "oh fuck"..."oh fuck me...oh fuck me, Why does He punish me so!!" ...i cant just fuckin toss him aside and bolt...im halfway out the door...i gotta say Hi...so honetly, i was so dissapointed...he came across as such a piggy fucker online...and he works in the theatre arts or some shit like that...so i got the impression he was super artsy fag piggy...and artsy kinky piggy fag can be really hot :) ...but alas..it was not meant to be...his attitude came across as geeky...his speech...even his glare...i honestly think he's been declared legally blind...poor guy...having to look at the world thru those coke bottle lenses.... I shoudnt talk...im blind too....but i usually wear the contacts...and when i don the 4-eyed look, its usually in a designer pair of frames...i look hot n sexy thanks :)

So what do u think i do! I invite him up...lordy fuck!! And lets make it perfectly clear...i just didnt wanna be seen on the street with him...i had to get him off that street right away...so up we go...he sits on my bed...eeks...geeks on the bed...ive had worse...so i really invited him up, cause i wasnt ready to go out yet...and i wanted to toke b4 i hit any bars...actually..after meeting him...I just plain needed to toke...period...dot dot dot Hahahha

so we chat 'bout shit...he's rambling on for eons about his weird life...im like "really, u dont say!! ...excuse me! (cough cough)...drag...drag...exhale...(cough cough)....really u dont say!! ", he's makin me fall asleep...so i decide its time to go...i woulda jumped him sitting on my bed by now if i had cumpletely lost all my marbles...so what do i do...i strip right in front of him...underwear and all...put on some ripped up jeans...hightops...and a white, sweaty wife beater under my zippy sweater (its fuckin chilly here at nite...its fuckin chilly in the day too)...and we head out...ok fuck...i dont wanna be scene with him in public...eeeks!! am i bad or what...u def should not suck anyones cock that u wouldnt wanna be scene in public with...thats kinda always been my rule with guys...so while it excludes a fair amt of dick...its really an indication of how low my moral standards go when it cums to dick n men....unless im blindfolded of course...then i just have no choice...

so we're outside and a new gay club was opening on the street...and i wanted to check it out, cause its half club/bar...half kinky shit and darkroom/sling room kind of a place...but the place was packed...and i didnt wanna be seen in there with mr.beany...so we walked on....he talked geek...i toked away...he mumbled geek...i would nod and hum hum him in confirmation of the useless information he was giving me...all i could think of was "how the fuck do i get rid of him NOW" ...so we get to one of the gay bar districts... its busy... fuck (pretend he's not here....pretend ur not walking with him)...i mean fuck...i dont wanna sound vain and shallow...but u would never see a guy like me ever walk around with a guy like that in public out together...u just dont see it!! so we walk into this bar...grab a drink...and we're outside, im watchin the crowd...he's bantering...or i think he shut up a bit...i think he may have noticed how "not" interested i was...i feel bad for guys like that...the "not so" normal ones.... im actually grateful im nuthin like that, and i can blend in yet stand out alone in a social setting with other ppl...im def unique...but im not a freak...well...normal conservative small town folk would probably consider me a dirty bastard...and so would my family...if they knew just the half of it....fuck....

so mr.beany mentions he needs to "catch a train home"...and im like "WOOHOO...lemme fuckin walk ya to the station!!" ....oh jeez, looks at the time...he just missed it...it runs hourly...fuk...he asks "wanna have another drink on the way, and kill some time...I really wish i could spend more time with u next time u come back here, ok?" ....and im like..."Huh...next time...ummmm...of course!" So so stoooned...and so Not Boned right now!! We walk to another set of bars...grab another drink...and all the leather piggy guys would look at me...then look at him...then look at me...then look at him...then look at me...and look at him...then, well u get the drift... FUCK... I Knew it would end like that...i just ignored all the stupid fuckers and started talking with this leather daddy at the bar...one of those local pathetic losers who sits at the leather bar in the same fuckin outfit every fucking night, god only know how much of his pension he spends on leather cleaner, plant food and Geritol.... our fuckin seniors need better muthah fuckin pension fuck!!!! Ill be lucky if i end up collecting pension and swiggin back the Geritol at 65.... I get the feeling i'll have my date with the gods, Mary, Joseph, & Baby J and alot sooner than that...but fuck...im having fun b4 that fuckin picnic!!

So me n my best geek bud head out for a smoke...chat it up...say good nite, and he scoots off to catch his train..."Phewwww!!!" ....finally...what a fuckin....I dunno...FUCK...i guess this is His way of punishing me on occasion, cause He's trying to fuck with my mind, with His wisdom and His great love for me!! HAhaha....i love getting all jihad religious n christian...It rocks my world to talk religion when im stoned... So geeks is Ga gone....and i shoot back into this bar and str8 down to the dark room...i needed a dark and quiet environment to clear my mind of the experience i had just been put the test to...(i could have been mean and evil...but i prevailed, and overcame my basic instincts to be a bitch...and presented myself as a true gentleman)...fuck that, i shoulda popped back in the door and left him waiting outside for an hour...oh wait...karma woulda probably bit me back with a rash...shit...i was nice...i was nice...dont rain on my parade!!

so down in the darkroom...its busy as fuck...think i noticed some hot guys in the dark...but i just wanted to watch some hot action...but b4 i know it...this tall shirtless skinhead dude walks up to me...young...30-35ish in the dark..hairless...wearing a rubber jockstrap...HOT....and he turns around and shows me his ass...hmmm...this is a 1st...my eyes had barely adjusted to the dark yet...so i start feeling up his ass and its fuckin slimey...Whoa dude....is that what i think it is....oh fuck ya! Cum to papa cumhole....cum to papa!
so i start to finger fuck his ass and its really fuckin warm n gooey...i grab my dick outta my pants and start spitting down on it and get it lubed up....skinhead cumhole is bent over...he's waitin for it...he knows what he wants, he knows what i like...fuck...how did this guy know?? he pulls my finger outta his ass...licks my finger...kisses me...oh Jezuz fuckin christ, this guy really knows how to turn me on....he grabs my fat dick and works it in his hole....so i start to thrust it forward and fuck it feels good...i can totally feel all the dickwadds up his fuckin ass...the cum is running outtta his ass down my dick and dripping off my balls...Fuckin luved it....so i fuck him for a cpl mins down in the dark room...the guys r barely paying attention...they got their own shit to deal with....some of em r watching...but all u see r shadows and they can tell someones gettin fucked good...so I pull my dick out...was nowhere close to cumming...and i push him down on my dick to clean it off...the pig went nuts....so i turn him around again and go for his ass...musta fucked him another cpl mins...or 20...i dunno, my head was spinning with the weed, beer, and poppers...i couldnt cum yet, i knew that, he knew that...so he pulled off me after awhile...got down like a good pig and cleaned my dick off and came back for a big sloppy wet kiss....Nice!!

So he starts chatting me up in the darkroom...where r u from? how long r u staying? blah blah blah...and he confeses he knows who i am! Im like, who the fuck r u?!?! Apparently we've exchanged a few msgs online b4....so he knew i was in town...recognised me right away in the darkroom...and came str8 for me....Like Whoa dude!! talk about fuckin hot....i always told him i wanted to fuk his cumhole whenever i travelled overseas...little did i ever fuckin expect to get his cumhole served on a fuckin platter like that....fuckin sweet!
well...i told him i def wanted to get back in there...knowing who i was talking to at that point and putting a face (or winking hole) to the online entity totally turned me on even more... dunno if we'll hook up again, or if ill run into him at the bars again....but i can def say i "roosted" with some of the piggiest here in town.... and fuck...everyone's had his cumhole...he is a Cumhole....he luvs being and admitting to being a cumhole...He's Cumhole!! LOL ...if he read this...i think he would totally be laughing his head off....i should send him the link to the blog...but fuck...that would totally break my cover over here...and it would easily leak back home in say like...a week or two....its a small world! Half the fun in writing about all the trouble i get into is being anonymous...anyone who knew me well, would fuckin FLIP if they put 2 & 2 together and guessed who i was...it would probably turn my fuk buddies on....turn my friends off and "tisk tisk" at me...and then everyone would be reading this shit just to find out what else i got upto and read out whether or not they were a good fuck or not...Nope...not interested...I would totally stop writing the blog then...no more fun...

so...cumhole leaves...i go outside...catch my breath after that hot hot fuck...and hit the next bar...this one is crowded ...the basement is totally packed...so u really cant have much fun...too many guys...to many hands on u...not enuf space or privacy to have fun...i mean u dont expect total privacy...half the fun is being watched, or letting another hot fucker join in...but when its wall to wall pig...there's just too many pigs in the pen to roost in comfortably...but i start to chat up this muscle mary and his little latino friend next too him...muscle mary fucks off..good..he was older n wrinkly...past his prime...but latino is cute...and i can tell he's piggy...we're chattin...we're flirtin...we're twisting each others nipples...we're snogging...as the brits would say...exchanging wet sloppy kisses, and i notice he's wearing a rubber jockstrap too!...just like cumhole...Nice!! and u know what a rubber jockstrap means dontcha?? It means their most likely...Piggy ...into Piss...Cum...and well...enuf kinky fetishes to keep me turned on...so we go into a corner and i start fingering his hole...he tells me "he's more in a top mood and not "ready" to fuk"...i can dig it...i was ready and prepared for anything myself :) so i get him to suck on my dick...i wunder if he could taste Cumhole's ass and cum on my dick...hmm..mabey Cumhole licked me off good....he's luvin it...im gagging his little spic mouth...so then i turn over and give him my ass to lick...he goes to town eating out my ass...after a few mins i can tell he's kinda tired kneeling on the floor, so i get him up and we go upstairs...we're chattin n chattin...super nice guy...then i notice he's got a red arm band on, and a red stripe on his jockstrap...hmmm...a fister...nice...so we talk fisting for awhile..joke around and head out for a smoke...he's totally In Luv with me, and invites me back next year to stay at his place in town during gay pride... i know me n him could totally get upto alot of trouble...especially if he introduces me to half of his piggy fucker friends....hmmm..something to keep in mind...who knows if we'll stay in touch at all...but we xchanged emails...we'll see :)

gotta piss...brb...
ok back...make that a dump too...LOL
TMI !! TMI !! ...get fuckin over it!

so i invite latino to cum over to my place...i gots me a clawfoot tub that would totally be hot for piss play...but he says he's gonna stay at the bars...and im totally cool with that... i think he wanted me over at his place...but he didnt ask me...think he was afraid of me saying no...but u cant say u got turned down or rejected until u actually ask and make a move! ....thats what i hate hearing about from guys..."he's so hot...i shoulda talked to him...or...what do i say to him?...he wont like me!" Like fuck guys...get the fuck over ur insecurities and make a move...why do I always have to make a move..fuck..if i never did, id never fuckin get laid cause ur dumb ass would never cum up and talk to me! ...Coulda, shoulda, woulda!! i live by that motto...make ur move now, or never...U may only get one shot, or one chance to meet/fuck/suck with anyone at that particular moment in time..make the best of it and what you've got to offer!! So me n latino part ways...i get me some thai curry in a box with chopsticks to eat on the way home...my ass is ok...im saving it for today....i wanna fuk more ass...but there is no way im paying 20euro to fuk whatever pathetic hole is at the sauna next door to me tonite...that is way too expensive to shoot a load in some hole...im on a budget...

so..today...whats in the books...well...stoning it up nice n early...gotta shower out good...and i plan on hittin some slings & gloryholes to bring my stay here upto a big bang finish...ill have a bandanna on me if i get into the mood to blindfold myself and just take any fuckers dick in my ass.... i wants the cum seeping outta my hole when i jet off to the beach tomorrow...ohhhh fuck..im looking sooooooooo forward to some heat n sun...i wanna feel my ass fuckin burn, and feel the sand grind between my ass cheeks and dive into the water butt naked, feeling the cool salt water soothe my aching fukhole!!! Oh fuck yeah...beach bum boys here i CUM!! ...so if u see my ass lying on the beach...take ur chance...spill some cold beer on it...slap it...blow me kisses...fuck...ill either jump str8 for ur cock or just bite ur head off...Coulda Shoulda Woulda!!!

oh..and here's a clip of what i plan on gettin upto today...enjoy pigs :p


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