24.12.09

Dick the Halls....





"Silent Night"...

"Homo Night"....

"all is Stoned"....

"all is Bright"....

"round... yon virgin"...
"master & slave"....
"Holy is thy seed"....
"deep up ur ass"...

"Sleep in Heavenly Pee eeeeee" !!
...."sleeeeep in heavenly peeeeeee"...




"The Twelve Days of Christmas"

On the 1st day of Christmas....
my Master sent to me....

A big fucking bowl of weed....





On the 12th day of Christmas, my Master sent to me....




12 leather daddies...
11 cummy condoms...




10 pigs PnP'ing...
9 stoners dancing...







8 jocks a milking...

7 queens a quacking...

6 sluts a sexin...

Fiiiiive, Big Cock Riiiiiiiings !!







Four rubber slaves...

Three Frenchmen...

Two horny buds...

and a big fucking bowl of weeeed !!





Dude...
thats alot of weed....
and alot of fucking used condoms...

Fucking A !!


i love twisting the carols....
thats what i always used to do as a child in school singing along and cutting coloured pieces of construction paper making Christmas cards to take home and stick on the fridge...

So my place is still a construction zone...and im hosting a party soon.... so i got my inspiration the other day when i read an article about this guy buying a house recently, and his real-estate agent gift wrapped it for him. Like the hole fucking house !! Wrapped up in gold and silver paper and wrapped in big long red ribbon bow....

So i thought, why clean up all the dust and paint stains....
got a hole or stain u want to hide...

just cover it all with wrapping paper.

thats right...
i just finished wrapping up half the place in wrapping paper....
appliances, tables tops and walls...
and it looks really fucking trippy dude...

weird thing is...
ive noticed weird stains all over the walls i know i never made....
and its sorta grossing me out...
i mean...
i can be a pretty sloppy pig at times...
but weird stains reflecting off the paint in the roomies bedroom does ick me out...

i need me a houseboy....
someone to do all the chores, cook and launder...
run errands...
and put out some ass...
yeah, thats right...

i'll keep u posted :)

Dick the Halls




peace to all Pigs...
Merry Fuckin Festivus


16.12.09

Ho ho Homo Depot




Ho Ho Homo Depot...

its actually a refreshing change this year...

im skipping out on most of the holiday festivities this year....
but as anyone knows who takes on a renovation project...
you usually tend to spend most of your free time in hardware stores and those big box stores...

call it one stop shopping...
but im continually gettin cruised at Homo Depot....

ill be on the phone talking with a friend about insulation in Aisle 69 or talking dick with a buddy looking at power tools and i've gotta say... some of those guys lurking around Homo Depot are hot as fuck....

lunch time is no exception...
all those private contractors and DoItYourself'ers like me cruise thru midday looking for some tool or another to use later that day....

and i realized all this city needs is a Homo Depot...

like a real one...

u know... one with cute cashiers and stockboys....

wearing tight ripped jeans....
dusty open soled construction boots...
tattoo's, piercings, and cockrings would be de rigeur...
and im not sure about the deoderant policy...

half the staff and customers who shop at Homo Depot dont wear any anyways....
in fact, many could use a basic haircut....

they should seriously combine everything together for one stop shopping for fags....

Toronto's Maple Leaf Gardens (the old home of the Toronto Maple Leafs NHL Hockey Team), has been sitting idle for years in the middle of the gay village....

they talked about turning it into condos....
then a supermarket....
then it just sat empty for years...
and i just figured out the solution...

One stop shopping....
Hardware N Construction supplies....
add a Health N Fitness centre....
Supermarket deli N Salon....
a Porn video shop...
and stick a bathhouse in the basement, or in the old hockey players changerooms....

and presto chango !

Homo Depot is born....

oh well...
i still havent had the chance to suck any dick there yet....
bathroom sex is awkward....
i hate being confined to a dirty icky stall...
and The being caught factor in a busy public bathroom is more of a turn off, than a turn on for me....

i mean.... its not like it doesnt happen....
cause when you put a bunch of horned up guys together....
its pretty likely some of those Homo's are looking for someplace to dump their Depot...

fuck yeah....

take that Depot man...

take that Depot...

Ho Ho Ho








hmmm....
ive never tried that b4...
i bet i'd scoop up my load and brush my teeth with it later too !
Cummy Mint flavour....
mmmm





6.12.09

Construction Update

Dear fellow pigs, stoners, twinks, daddies, sirs and madams....

(apparently some of the ladies cruise the blog too... most women i hear love watching gay porn... funny huh)


Due to unforseen circumstances....
im in a bit of a pinch....
so i've had to pick up the pace....
and get back in the race...


yeah....
work sucks...
but someone has to pay the bills eh...
and when ur roomate suddenly ditches u...
well... someone's gotta pick up the slack...
fuck...

so i work in venues across the city...
and everytime i arrive there is construction notices everywhere....
construction is going on everywhere, and you have to manage to work around it....
mind the noise....
mind the disruptions...

and now my place is in similar shambles....
semi-renovated status...
disaster zone...
i nearly sat on my power drill the other day....

seriously...
the power drill almost went up my ass !!
dude i was stoned, and forgot i left it lying on the chair....
ooops :)

and its becoming quite a pig slop too....
a mountain of used towels, socks and cum rags piling up in the laundry
ill get to it....
i just need to finish that bag of weed.... and ill get right to it dude :)
yeah....

so dont worry...
im not going away....
thanks for the messages....
and i know i need to update this little blog here...
its like a little room that needs renovation....
its a project ill get to when i have time....

in the mean time...
ill just update u on some porn....

and fuck... have u noticed all the porn is dissapearing !!
all these porn sites are dropping like flies... so alot of the old porn i posted is gone....
sniffle...

so i dug down into my old archives here and dusted off some old porn and stuff i've been saving up....
its good shit dude...

i like the good shit dude....
whether its porn, weed, or good ass...
just hook me up with the good shit dude....


excuse me while i pour myself a glass of milk....




mmm...
if that made u squeemish... ur not a fucking pig dude....
now i feel like pouring a carton of milk up my ass and calling a few buddies over...
fuck ya....






i swear i've got this one on dvd in the cellar...





mmmm...
if its just gonna be a blowjob dude....
it might as well be a good one :)



for those of u who like em, young, dumb n hung....
here ya go....




and lets add some french canadian sleaze to the mix....






and polish off that roach with a good ol'fashioned all american pig roast courtesy of TIM....




i'll be popping in from time to time to give u construction updates...

so pop into the construction office and smoke one with me once in awhile....
ill be pumping the good tunes....




peace
BonedNstoned

31.10.09

Happy Halloween




Trick or Treat....

I wanna dress up in a costume like this and go door to door....
i could use the helmet to collect candy in...
or u could just drop it down my drawers....

ooops...what drawers ??
Id be sporting Commando :)

ready to trick or treat a waiting hole to some dick....

some gay men totally love halloween....

i think its totally way cooler than pride...

........

take these guys for instance...
im gonna give em 5 moments of fame....
i think they're funny as fuck when high as a kite



like i said... when ur high as a kite....

this is the part where u should be high....

dude.... i get a feeling alot of u who read the blog arent really stoners....

i think some of u guys just cum here for the porn....

like im almost mainstream....

i did a little experiment....

i havent blogged intentionally for over half a month....

that and i wasnt feeling overly creative....

and im still getting 6000 hits a day !!

fuck....
i think thats pretty fucking cool....

im not exactly Perez Hilton....

but who the fuck would ever aspire to be that fat bitchy cunt....

oh fuck...

im probably opening myself up to a lawsuit....

bad boy....
bad bad boy BonedNstoned...

dont say those mean mean things about Perez Hilton...

he's not a dirty pig like u....

he just looks like swine....


fuck....
this is damn good weed dude....

lol

hold onto ur pants bro...
go take a piss now b4 u piss ur pants like i did earlier....

ive got a few Halloween trailers to share for u.....

polish off ur roaches & enjoy :)

Muah ha ha



i've been watching Saw trailers for the last hour and i almost shit my pants....
im such a suck when it cums to horror flicks....



last time i recall going to the movies and watching the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, i was clinging onto my date for dear life and screaming like a chick....

yeah...
i can scream like a chick too....
most of my friends get a good laugh in, just watching me shit my pants....

oh well.....

think its time to stir the dick in my pants...

Trick or Treat...
smell my feet...
give me something good to eat...

spread that hole...
like a whore...
while i shove it in some more :)









1.10.09

Back to Business...




well piggies...

i knows its been awhile...

i told u i was quitting smoking....

and ive barely lit a joint in a month either...

well... im lying...

i had some to last a couple days...
dental procedure...
a friend was kind enough to give me some...

im such a baby when it cums to the dentist....
but there is no fucking way im going into the dentist sober....
ive gotta be stone fuckin stoned....

a buddy later asked me if i scored some Laughing Gas...
alas no...
i kinda think the dentist knew i was stoned...
answering every question with an "uh huh" all glass eyed, sorta gave it away...
that, and i was laughing like a hyena watching South Park while the fat cunt fiddled away on a filling...
but i did score 20 toothbrushes and 5 tubes of toothpaste...

now... some of you may call it stealing....
but when u goto the dentist's bathroom, and he's got a box of them sitting beside the can open...
and i just happened to have my gym bag with me...
and i figured out the fucker charges me more than he should be...
well...
thats no excuse...
i confess...
i took the cheap ass toothbrushes !!
Yes...
it was me motherfuckers!!
i took em all...
fucking fat cunt dentist...

its like going to the self checkout at the supermarket...
i buy the most expensive tomatoes... and i punch in the code for the cheapest ones...
please.... they're tempting me with corruption....
its not like a whole supermarket chain is gonna go bust cause of little ol' me saving a few pennies....
they're the stupid asses who put trust in the customer to punch in the produce codes...
not my problem i happen to be a dumb blonde and i punch in the wrong one...
oops :)


so lets just say if any of you happen to drop by for a spliff or a drinkey...
ur more than welcum to help urself to a toothbrush...
its the least i could do for a fuck...

cause if there's anything i cant stand in a man... its bad breath...

funny thing...
the last set of boyfriends always told me i never had bad breath....
cause i always told em' about theirs...
while they usually told me my armpits smelled sweaty...

honey...
i know how to use a stick of deoderant...
i just choose not to slather it on 24-7
at least my teeth will never rot...

--------------------------------------------------
so i had a bit of pot for a couple days....
but i didnt feel like blogging...

and most of you come here to jack off...
i dont see any of you knocking on my door offering me a joint...
mabey if some of my friends did, i wouldnt be such a cunt....

that and i made a promise not to blog sober...

....so why am i here?
well... i may not necessarily be stoned...

but im under the influence of sleeping pills and red wine...
and my head is fucking spinning...
cant sleep...

i was hoping a good jack off would do the trick so here i am...
so ive gone thru half a bottle...

its really quite good....
its some fruity Argentinian shiraz...
quite nice...
makes the sleeping pills go down nice...

well...

lets do what we're all here to do....

Back to Business folks...

There should be enough video there to last awhile....

or U Can Suck My Balls Mr.Garrison !!


nitey nite :)





































29.8.09

Lite Up...



Lite up and enjoy the tunes dude...
get those headphones out...

Because this is it...
im fucking thru with this shit....
im quitting...
i cant do it anymore...
i just wanna end it all...

Im about to light up my last ciggie
i wanna enjoy it...
so i got really fucking high...
to celebrate the occassion...



i just threw the empty pack across the room and started stomping on it....
i dont know what came over me...
ive never done that b4...
mabey that means its over..

fuck...
nasty habits die hard....

we've all got our vices right ?

some drink...
some smoke...
some lite up pot...
some do a little more...

some suck n fuck...
and dance to the beat of the drums...
while others beat n jerk it...
to the beat of their cock...

yeah...
nasty habits do die hard...
i have so many, i could do with one less...

im off to score some dick or hole at the gym...

here...
i scored u pigs some hot porn...
Polish off that roach and continue...









For more hot vids...
Check out:

Ruffkin
http://www.ruffkin.com

bb4bbmen
http://www.bb4bbmen.net

BarebackBastards
http://www.barebackbastards.com

All u gotta do is sign up... and its all free...
U can find my profile on all of those sites...
And remember to contribute if you download or find a hot flick...
do your part... and shoot ur spunk into the mix :)

Dont be a hog...pass around the joint dude.
someone.
Lite me Up...

24.8.09

Testing, Testing...

oink oink...



oink oink...





oink oink...




OINK OINK !!!



Testing...testing...
the emergency broadcast system...
testing the boundaries...
testing the limits....



so my summer is pretty much over pigs...
im back at work for the fall season...
long long hours ahead...

so just before the last long stretch off...
i decided to hit the beach...
and a buddy of mine came to join me...


toronto beach culture is fucking lame-O.
but it was a fun day with good company...
so after a long hot day on the beach...
cruisin men, smokin dope, and cooling off in the frigid lake...
we ended up at his place chillin on the patio...
nice way to end the night...

little did i know i was gonna get raped...
little did i know...
the fun part was the spontanaeity of it...
and the fact we were drunk and high as fuck...

why pass out on the couch watching a movie...
when u can fuck :)

it was a bit of a blur for me...
my buddy is pretty hot...
nice guy...
10 years my senior...
fit...
with a nice fat dick...

oh that dick...
its fuckin delish...
especially after i swallow it whole after it cums outta my ass...
oh yeah...

its been a long while ive taken a good dickin...
and been a submissive bitch...

he fucking pounded and pounded and pounded and pounded and pounded my ass....
fuuuuuuuck !!
it was fuckin good dude....
my ass totally opened up, and it was a slosh slosh sloshin good time...
and it tasted really fuckin good...

fuck when ur high and you've got the pasties, you'll lick at anything to drink...
cummy dick...
wet hole...
swallowing gobs of spit...
yeah...
it was a pretty piggy fuck...

Testing, testing....
1...
2...
3...

i thinks my ass is hungry for more dicks...









18.8.09

Extreme Heat Alert

piggies, piggies, piggies...

fuck me...
i just got this new batch of weed...
and its fuckin ace..
wow...

i say... Toronto weed is starting to be just as good as Holland's...
this new stuff gives me so much energy, i ended up mowing 4 lawns yesterday, outta the blue after borrowing the landlords mower... one of those manual push ones... got outside shirtless in a tight pair of addidas jogging shorts...and went fucking wild on everyones lawn... The neighbours were looking out their windows in shock... I had emerged from the batcave... the landlord even cums out and gives me a few cold drinks... passerby's are walking by, admiring my tan... ahhh... a nice summer day....

so.. the pot...
dude...
its some of the best shit ive ever had...
and its makes u horny as fuck...
i dunno if its the extreme heat alert...
its smoggy, humid and hot here... 32 degrees (and i dunno, like a 100F for my piggy yankee cousins)...
but im mutherfuckin superkalafrajalistic horny...

i shot like 4 loads in a row jerking off last nite...
another one today...
and then i hook up with this hot pig...
tattoos...piercings...
and a hot wet sticky hole...
he got bred earlier...

so i went to town on his fucking ass...
in every room...
ate him out a couple times...
made him slurp off my cock...
and bred him with another huge load...

like my loads r so big, i shoot myself on the face every time...
fuck...
this is gooood fucking weed dude...

damn...

i have so many fucks to blog about...
but who's got the fuckin times...
seriously...
I know i havent told u pigs anything about my trip overseas...
and yeah... its long overdo..

i dont exactly blog all my action...
fuck, if i did...
id have a new post every other day....

but im waiting for a friend to show up soon...
so i got the time to kill...

fuck... i better hide the lube n poppers lying around...
and jeezus...
i need a shower...
i smell sooooo fucking good...
my armpits reek like ambrosia...

everyone's armpits reek during Extreme Heat Alerts...
the city opens the shelters for the homeless...
they give out free bottled water at civic venues...

ur balls hang twice as low...
the pigs r lurking around...
every dick is lookin for some luvin...
everyones juice is drippin from their noggins...

fuck...
Extreme Heat Alert...







15.8.09

Cirque du Coq



so i just got home from a Comedy club...
friends birthday...
fuck...
i have too many Leo and Cancer friends...
everyone wants to gorge out on sushi for their birthdays this year.
Jeezus fuckin christ... if i see another piece of sushi this summer im gonna become an Unagi roll and drown myself in a vat of soy sauce !!

so.. Comedy club...
a chain of them is called Yuk Yuk's...
they usually bring in the better comedians...
or so i thought....

The host was i think Canada's 1st and only openly gay male comedian...
cute kid actually...
whitey as they cum...
and kinda funny...
i think i im funnier than him...
thats how comedians get my respect...
if their funnier than me...
then their good :)

im a tough crowd...
u gotta be really fucking good at joking around to get my attention...
u gotta be cynical... or dark... or dirty... or just plain silly...
thats how u get a laugh outta people....

so the gay kid is ok...
he's got the str8 crowd laughing... (and its better than Bruno, just got a "chinese copy" of it ...that movie is a fucking joke... and seriously... Sasha Baron Cohen... need i say more ? :)

so after 10 mins, he introduces the 1st act...
and up cums this Geek...
like Nerd Supremo...
and he starts doing a jiggy hokey dance on stage...
and his routine was mostly done on a CD voiceover while he "intentionaly" lip cinqued...
and one of his comedy routines involved a Math Quiz with a tape recorder...
the crowd was awestruck...
at the amazing genius...
of the Geek of Comedy...
OMG...

if i ever looked that bad on stage...id seriously want you guys to throw tomatoes at me...
id appreciate the gesture...
fuck...
the look on my butchy russian friend sitting across from me was priceless...
she looked at him the same way she looks at me when she's angry...
like she wanted to commit murder...
lol

haha
that was a funny...

get it...
its all about the comedy...

or is it...

mabey sometimes its just about the sex...

cause i gotta say...
i was famished when i showed up for dinner...
that sushi really did hit the spot....

i had spent the last hour pounding the fuck out of some hot daddy hole (42 y/o to be exact),
.... nothing spectacular...
just some plain ol, wam bam, thank you man, sorta hook up.
took a quick piss on my way out the door...
nipple pinch and quick peck at the lips... and off and away...

dontcha wish when u went out to see a show or have a drink at the bar, u could see some real live porn ?
like, not guys doing it in a dark corner or darkroom of a bar.
i mean... like a real, live sex show... with professional actors on stage...
who will fuck... scream...suck... swallow... lick, prick and dick on stage... just like he would shooting it on film in a studio or set ?

id pay to see that shit...
real live porn theater...
...and im not talking about the lame ass porn theatre in amsterdam...

im talking like taking Treasure Island Media, Live on Stage.
Cirque du Soleil.

But call it Cirque Du Coq...
i kinda like that...

Cirque Du Coq....
Yuk Yuk

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1st Act....




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2nd Act....



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and our Headliner...





12.8.09

Mamma Mia !!

ok pigs...

apparently some of u r just a bit too touchy about the subject of race...

listen... the reality is... racism is rampant in our society, and most people hide or mask it to appear more socially acceptable. In private circles...most people r fucking racist as hell...

so... if u were offended by me calling a CheapJewWhore...well, a cheap Jew whore... why dont we just call the guy Joshua. that sounds pretty fucking biblical...

so in reference to my last post... i threw CheapWhore Joshua 3 dollars worth of bus change...

is that better?
does that make it all sound nicer...

fuck

so any reference to paki's and the Paki Taxi Driver's son, will now be known as Ahmed Salam's....

i met some dude on the beach today actually... he looked like an Ahmed Salam... but instead he was a Wop...

oops... sorry
i did it again...
sorry... i didnt mean Wop...
I meant Luigi...

Mamma Mia !!

fuck me
someone cum wash my mouth out with soap !!

11.8.09

Clean n'Go. Me Amigo.



Take a toke dude.... and enjoy the tunes....
i luv waking up in the morning to a nice sunny bright day....
birds chirping...
and house music playing in the background....
i leave it on constantly...

so like fuck... its finally stopped raining !!
every fuckin day... rain rain rain !!!
like what the fuck dude... we've been having torential monsoon downpours here all month...
i feel like i live in a dingy metal shack... water dripping from everywhere...paint bubbling on the walls... chunks of tree outside the front door. I fucking swear lightning hit my place dude... My roomate had a friend over...and it literally shook us both out of bed... we ended up rolling a skinny with a spanish coffee for the hangover, and ended up cuddling watching lighning bolts hit all the trees in the distance, listening to the pitter patter of metal pots dripping behind us. Oh fuck... i gotta move outta this cave... I need a better kennel... something bright... spacious... minimalist.... with a sling hanging... i need a sling room...
yeah...
my next space will have play in mind...
can the floors handle a little piss?
is there enough privacy outdoors on the patio?
can i supersize the tub ?
will the walls contain yelling, moaning, and screaming ?
and...
the sling room....
i've always wanted a little gym/yoga/sling room...

Throw in a weight set... a large wrestling mat and my pilates ball... a flat screen tv for music or porn... and hang a sling from the corner ceiling... presto... Gym/Yoga/Wrestling/Fuck room... its perfect.



ok... so fuck....where was i.....
its finally a nice fuckin day....
think im headed to the beach....
it'll be dead too... its a fuckin tuesday...
so if anyone there is worth fooling around with, ill have some privacy...

one thing about the nude beach here in toronto, is its crawling with fugglies... that walk around naked and wag their dicks around...

ill be lying in the sand... tanning my buns, listening to some tunes... and all these wrinkly 60 year olds walk by wagging their dicks around... jeezus...

oh... interuption... the mail man is here....and he's not cute at all... he looks like a polish homer simpson... where's the regular guy ??



----------------------------------------------------------------------

i got distracted by a little porn...
sorry dude...

ok... ive packed all my shit for the beach...
lets see if i have it all...

mexican beach blanket...check...
towel... check...
xtra Che Guevera tshirt...check...
lotion and spf....
raybans, pink bic lighter and joint...check...
4 cans of Budweiser and an Energy Rockstar chillin in the freezer...
poppers, lube, and a cockring...
fuck im biking guys... the boys get kinda mushed on the seat...
some munchies... pretzel bites, cashews, and sour gummies...
oh...and i can see them sticking outta my bag...

Clean n' Go wipes...
fuck... i luv clean n go

Dude.. its awesome...
i usually keep em in the car....
so after im done playing in the park... or after i get outta the bars n shit... i can hop in the car...and wipe off all the sticky cum n lube off me... especially if ur headed to work, or out to meet friends its essential....

Clean n Go...
i should do commercial advertising... ive got the voice and face for it :)

so last nite, i hit some of the trails down by the waterfront... but it was fuckin dead... and the mosquitoes were nasty.. i was fuckin bitten up n down my body... and i hate treading thru spider webs... its the most fucking annoying thing...especially when ur high...
so i hop into the batmobile...or grandpa... or muffy...
i give the bitch a different name every month...
she's running like a jem right now...
better than ever before...
so now its the Batmobile...

u know...my car's actually a virgin eh?
ive never fucked in my car...
ive jerked off and sucked dick in my car...
but never fucked...
i really hate car sex...
the space is limiting...
but sex outside a car...
now i have no problem with that...
or a convertible...
i totally dig open top vehicles...
or pickup trucks...
u can totally fuck on them...in them..on top of em... whatever !

i got a girlfriend with a nice Audi leather seated convertible...
the bitch luvs gettin fucked in it...
and i luv riding in the back !

so these trails were lame.. so i hop in the batmobile and hit the highway...
windows rolled down....
house music blarring...
me...flying high...
dude... no worries..
i actually drive much better and safer stoned...
im more of a crazy maniac behind the wheel sober...

so i hit this cruising area off the highway thats tucked into the valley...
i luv biking and cruising the trails in the valley...
lotta hot boys in the valley...

i drive around...and this one lot was empty...
ive tapped some ass there...
so i drive to another lot thats more lit...
i gotta say about 8 cars were there...



so i light up my roach and chill to the music...
then i see a hot punky guy comming outta the bush and walking towards this Jetta parked beside me...
and then i nearly choked...

its a buddy of mine...
im actually not fazed...
i know he's a bit of a pig... and probably a pot head too...
but he looked so freaked out... i just pretended to talk on my cell phone so that he wouldnt have to approach me....
he hopped in his car and sped off...

LOL
we both have a very close mutual friend...
and ive caught him lurking around b4...and he probably thinks im gonna blab on him...

dude...
fuck...
i couldnt care less...
...but i can so tell he wants to suck my dick...

i might even bump into him on the beach today... he's always there...

so after he takes off... a black guy and some paki cum outta the bush... i wait for them to flee and then head in myself... but it was sooo fucking dark, i couldnt see shit baked... and this wasnt a regular hangout out of mine... so i dont know the trails good...
i hop back in the car... and by then, there were only 2 or 3 cars left... i drive to an open field nearby and light up a smoke outside the car... it was so fucking dark, u could barely see a couple feet in front of u... so i walk around the batmobile...and this guy is standing beside a tree....he looked pretty fit and young... so i get closer and get a good look at him... he looks like a cute little lumberjack... he's wearing cargo shorts... hiking shoes...backpack, baseball cap... fleece sweater with a tight white tee underneath.... looked 24 years old... scruffy blond beard... Woof !! A valley boy.

he feels my rock hard dick and gets down on his knees and starts sucking it...
he uses lots of spit, so it feels really good... but he used some teeth too...and i fuckin hate that...
he could really deep throat it nice though...
his dick was small....

hot woofy kid...
but a dissapointing dick...
poor guy...
his girlfriend is probably getting banged up by some other punk im sure...
and he was kinda goofy... asking me all these questions between him sucking my dick, or me sucking on his cute lips...
he was a great kisser...
it was like high school makeout...
us jacking our dicks...
sucking face...
and playing with his sweaty hole, which he loved...moaning like a dog...
so i pushed him down to the dirt when i was close and shot a huge load over his tongue and face...
he lapped up as much cum as he could....
i pull him back up...and continue the make out session...tasting my load...
it was kinda salty...
not bad...

i was more in the mood for sweets...
so me and the lumberjack kid part ways...
i hop back in the car... and what do i do...

Clean n Go...
wipe, wipe...
all better :)

hop over to the 24 hr supermarket and get some munchies...

a precooked rotiserrie chicken. $9.99 ....who doesnt luv rotiesserie chicken...

a pack of chewy sour candies. $2.29 ..for those sweet n sour cravings....

one large carton milk. $5.29

one box of Fruity - O's (cheaper Fruit loops) $ 2.99

...and only one 20$ bill in my pocket...
fuck !!
i avoid taking the wallet with me when i go out hunting the trails...
so i just had some cash and a licence...
fuck

no Fruit Loops...damn...

ok... now i hear thunder outside...
Like what the FUCK !!
can i not have one bloody fucking day of sunshine !!!

fuck this city !!
if its not feezing...its humid...if its not raining...its snowing... if its not foggy...its grey and overcast...
toronto is not a Sunshine Destination...

Attention all Pigs...
if u were planning a trip here...
dont sweat the SPF...
u dont fucking need it...
but dont forget the Bug Spray...

i guess a bottle of Tag would do just fine...
and always travel with some Clean n'Go :)

----------------------------------------

Warning... This vid is a little sick...
but i had to post it when i saw Brad Maguire was in it...

i dont get the hole "brown" thing...
some guys dig it...
but what turns me on more about this clip..
is the fact that these pigs are so turned on and into it...

umm... and remember

Clean n'Go. Me Amigo.
Clean n'fuckin Go !!



1.8.09

...for our Feature Presentaion !

what am i still doing in the city??
i should be camping, or parting it up someplace...
its a long weekend here in toronto...

so here i am, blogging...like WTF right ?

its precicely 6:00 am, dark, but the sky is glowing orange and a nice blamy 16 degrees celcius...

so what the fuck am i doing up at 6am u ask??
well... for starters, i havent slept a wink...
ive been hazed on leaf all day.

U know when u buy a new laundry detergent and u luv to smell it like poppers the 1st time u use it.
or when u find a strange pair of underwear, and u sniff em to check if their clean...and when u smell some piss or cum on them, u just keep on sniffing them like u were visiting Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.
Well, when i open a fresh bag of weed... i tend to overindulge the 1st day...ok, and mabey the 2nd...

its like putting a nice bowl of triple chocolate ice cream with blueberries on top in front of me during a nice hot summer day.
Give a dog a bone, and he's bound to bite it :)

....ok, im not gonna blog on my vacation fucking now...
im gonna blog fresh...
europe is hazy today, so it'll be hazy tomorrow...

so im supposed to be outta town right... but i had to run a bunch of errands and needed some R & R time to just chill since returning back to work... so i decided to stay put tonite...
updated some blog shit.... pay some bills... log onto bbrt... check the facebook mail... put out the garbage...make some din din... asian dumplings and edamame beans... yes... how Yoga eco-stoner Healthy. Listen, ill be eating garbage camping for the next 2 days... all Pigs need the proper nutrients !! Then i washed down 2 bowls of cereal with a scoop of ice cream...That was the pot kicking in....so im thinking fuck this pot...its gonna pudge me up if i dont cut back some... so i light me up some more leaf... and head out for a jog... the sun is fading... the garden sprinklers r comming on... the city is pretty dead on long weekends... most people take off for the cottage or the lake or someplace other than this bleak humid city. so i hit some cruising grounds 15 mins into my jog... so what do i do... i light up... fuck me...
Jogging and lighting up a joint while im stretching... fuck... they dont come as fucked as me...
i notice some guys lurking around... but not much... so i drift into the bush and then realize i cant see shit...
the spotlights from nearby headlamps is too weak....and their's no Moonlight tonite... oh SHIT !!
im stoned, dizzy, and can barely see fuck... i bet i was walking around aimlessly, pushing branches, spider webs and leaves outta my face for 20 mins. if u had night vision goggles, im sure i would have been a fucking hoot to watch.

so i find myself back to a mainlit path, and just light up again...
You'd think id learnt my lesson the 1st time !!
no.. its the Willy Wonka effect...thats what i call it....
like dude... when ur boned n stoned,
just go with the flow...

that and for some reason, the more pot i smoked, the more fluorescent the bush became...and i could see the trails and paths more clearly... dude, it was almost like an LSD trip....
so i stumble over these 2 guys... i kinda give em their distance...and slowly approach... i could barely see shit, but they continued sucking cock, so i guess they didnt mind... and well frankly... i was the hottest shit in the park that night...

im sorry...
i dont always think im the hottest shit...
i hate walking into a bar full of muscled effeminate muscle mary's full of attitude...
but if ur taking a walk in the park, and everyone is just kinda blah and average looking and doesnt really stir ur dick, well...ur probably the hottest piece of ass there :)

so.. the guy getting sucked is young n tall from what i can tell, and the guy on his knees looks youngish and white, but i cant tell...he sees my throbing hard dick and dives in for a taste... he's actually a pretty good cocksucker... so i force him to deep throat my dick... then buddy's... then back to mine... till he's gagging...and buddy luvs the way im forcing him, so he starts getting verbal with him too... well, cocksucker gets up, and i get a good look at his face and cringe... he wasnt fugly.... but he looked like a 40'something piece of trailer trash and spoke like one...
well that ruined it for me...
so i wander off... and bump into this latino like looking dude... he starts giving me head and he's really fucking good at it... i was face fucking him for ages...so i feel up his little culo, and he's got this smooth tight ass, and he likes getting his pucker played with so i spit on my fingers and feel up his hole... he's totally into it, but i think he blew a load when i started rubbing my dick up against his ass, cause then he got soft, his dick felt slick... so he gets back down on his knees and starts to suck me again... but i was done with him... i cant stand guys who cum that quickly... jeezus, i hadnt even sucked his dick... so then i light me a smoke... and this weird looking guy cums up to me... he's like the Taxi Driver's son... he was in this long sleave dress shirt with khakis on, and wore this ridiculous looking hat... im generally not attracted to Indians or East Asians, unless they act really "white", dress "white", and arent too Paki looking...know what i mean ? so this dude is like the closet case Paki toronto Taxi Driver's son cruising the bush...

so i ignore him...
then he approaches...and tries to touch me... and im like "Back the fuck off pak !!"
and im sure i looked pretty icked out...
so what do these icky guys do?
they lurk around more...
he comes back up to me, and im like dude, back the fuck off !!
so i walk away... and they follow and lurk...
he swoops in again and talks to me in some broken paki-english giberish...and i push him off me this time, throw him against a tree, and threaten to put a gihad up his ass... he sorta stumbled away like a child with no money at the candy store....
fuck... later pako !!

i dont mean to sound racist... but i dont have to fuck with every pak, jap, spic, kiwi, brit, jew, wop, afro, tsar, gimp, or Abdul either. just because ur white, doesnt mean id fuck any of you... god only knows there's alot of fugly white guys around too...

so... who do i bump into in the bush... a Uki...
tall, muscled...wearing camouflage shorts and hiking boots with blong hair... fuck, i hit me some soviet dick...
so he bums a smoke off me... we start chatting... and i start feeling up his dick... he's got a nice package...so i take him into some brush... pull down his pants and start licking and sucking his creamy hard shaft... nice 7-8 incher on him.... yummy... he goes down for my dick... but he cant suck dick for shit... so i get soft... and then paki Taxi Driver's son starts circling us like a vulture... eventually walking right past us, when i sorta subconsciously pushed out my arm, causing him to fall onto a bush and stumble away cursing the day he met me... LOL !!!

i was done with Uki... too bad i didnt feel like bottoming, i woulda taken his nuclear soviet torpedoes up my stern... but he didnt look like he was gonna share his Chala buns either, so i took off...

i let my high wind down in the bush a bit longer and then headed for the jog back... well... i didnt jog... dude... stoned... just a sweaty power walk...

so i hit a nice protein shake with juice... and im so horned up... i get online... blah blah blah blah blah....
i stroke out a load watching some hot porn... and head to bed...
but no...
no sleep...
just horny...

who says the wolves still dont howl with no moon?

so i get back online... light me a little leaf, thinking... fuck, if anything, this shit should be help me pass out...
so i chat with a cpl late nite piggies...
one of em is from outta town...staying at a downtown hotel.

tells me he's got 2 loads up his ass
so i put on my sweaty jogging clothes...
...and i realize i pulled off the perfect decoy outfit for a downtown hotel fuck...
if i get questioned at the door, ill just say i went out for a jog, and my girlfriend is upstairs waiting for me with the key (wink at the concierge)... and on the way out the door... u look like a regular hotel patron, heading out for a jog....

problem is, u cant pull that shit off here in the winter... ur wrapped up in coats, boots, hats and mitts... everyone looks ridiculous showing up for fucks in the winter... the fun part about winter, is u can make stripping off the layers the fun part... peeling each layer off slowly.... summer time... fuck... whip off the tanktop and shorts, and ur fucking Nekkid !!

-------------------------------------

ok... its precicely 7am now... and sunny
see how long it takes to write ?? all that took an hour... non-stop....not even a pee brake !!
ok and im starting to poop out... i needs me a nap...

so i get to the cumsluts hotel... cruise in the front revolving doors....hop in an elevator cab, and upstairs we go...and i look around the elevator for a camera... i adjust my cock anyways and feel it up... i couldnt care less if i was being watched... so i get to the door.... i told him to leave it ajar.. but i guess its hard in a big hotel... last time id been to that one, i fucked some flight attendent... or did he fuck me? i cant recall...
oh well...
so buddy opens up... he looks cool, gottee, mod hairy, whitey...and i can tell he's a pig... so he shows me in... and hops into bed... i just rub my dick, poke out my middle finger and becon him towards my dick... he crawls back to the foot of the bed and starts sucking my dick... and fuck... was he good... perfect pressure, lots of spit... no biting... and swallows it hole... just the way i like my big dick sucked... just the way i like to suck dick :)

after a few mins of skull fucking and throat reaming... he was slobbering lots and gagging all the time, so it just made the skull fuck hotter... i felt up his ass, and started to work it open... spit on it... found some lube on the nightstand... squirt some on his hole... some on the dick... and slide that fucker in...

i gave him a pretty hard ride.... musta fucked him 6 different ways, just pounding on his ass forever... i was fucking him for at least an hour... and im surprised he could take it...
id pull out and make him suck my dick...and shove it back in his ass... i wasnt being overly aggressive... i just wanted a hole to get off in... and this guy def knew how to use his. i threw him on an armchair facing the window and pounded away at his ass from behind... the sky slowly getting lighter with every couple of thrusts... i could see the lights turning on in other buildings and offices across the street... and i wonder if they can see us fucking... we're watching each others reflection in the window pane.. well, i was... his face was burried in a pillow.... he was begging for more dick , so i just kept on ramming it up his ass hard like i was on speed...
pot can have either effect on me...
make my dick droopy, or super hard...

i eventually nutted up his ass... and continued to pound it in for another 5 mins... after i pull outta his now loose cummy shitter... i just fingered his ass and pinched his tit while he jerked off and came...
fuck... dude
i just pounded the guy's ass for over an hour...
i think he deserved a little credit...
a little finger, pinch n pull... and he shot all over his bedsheets where he was gonna sleep...

so we chat a bit...
he's blushing about the hard fucking and my nice dick...
im like (smile) "yeah yeah...thanks" ....
i hear the same shit and compliments all the time...
i actually genuinly appreciate them...and i try to accept them gracefully...
cause after u hear the same shit after each and every fuck a couple times a week, for the last i dunno, 15 years.... well fuck... u sorta get tired about hearing about your big beautiful dick... fuck
tell me about all the loads in ur ass... or about all the slutty sex clubs u went to...
lol

oh... but he did say he was from Hollywood
and im like, oh yeah!!
..and he admits to working for Disney...
...seriously...

i just fucked over & bred Disney....

mabey i can land the BonedNstoned Disney/Pixar movie deal.
i can write the script...
i can get porn actors like Dawson and TitPig to do the voiceovers...
add some house music...
it could be hot...
cmon...

hmmm... what reputalble media company would even touch my blog...
its dirty...
its filthy...

guess i just have to start my own company :)

later

---------------------------------------


im fucked...
so yeah boys... i need to crash... im bushed now...
the sun is up... the wolves need to rest in the batcave...

i woulda blogged about the bottom jew boy who came over and i fucked him sensless for 2 hours, sweat pouring everywhere... but alas, no cumloads shot....
something tells me, BottomJewboy knew or suspected i was "BonedNstoned"....
he talked to me about all this shit... and i suspected he was dropping me hints, to find out if it was really me...or not really me?
get it?

Listen....attention all Pigs...
If u all bent over in front of me right now, and said, fuck me, I wouldnt necessarily.
I dont want u attracted to me, because of me being a blogger...
Id rather u be attracted to me for me... and me being attracted to u for being U... its that simple....

so Jewboy... after fuking him senseless for 2 hours and not cumming, goes to his bag on his way out the door, and tells me he's missing like 30 dollars from his wallet... and he's like "Did u take it?"

Dude? Me... take 30 dollars? From a filthy cumdump Jewwhore like yourself ?
Uh huh...

fuck... i hate cheap fucking jews... he kept on going on and on about his money while he got dressed to go.... so i run into my kitchen and throw the bitch some bus change... 2 hours of ass pounding cost me $3.25....

i guess thats means i owe Disney 2 bucks....
if i had 2 bucks for ever dick ive had up my ass.... hmmmm, well... i think that would definetely buy me a hot tub :)

-------------------------------------
And now,
For our Feature Presentation
... i dedicate this fuck vid to JJ

...for being the the 1st pig with the balls to readily admit he know's about my blog to my face...

...im sure there's a cpl more of you out there who know..
and you're all a bunch of pussies :p
and u know what pigs with big balls do to pussies...
we fuck those bitches up :p

cheers

enjoy the Feature Disney presentation :)

31.7.09

Feeding time...

Once upon a time,
there was a little boy,
who's dick grew big,
and didn't know why...

it hurt and it hurt,
it would grow so big,
and stand up so tall,
it made him feel like something was worng...

but along came the day,
the joystick was found,
and to this day,
has never put it down.

he stroked and he swirled,
the skin felt so hot,
and then all of a sudden,
the jizz flew right out...

he thought it was weird,
it made him feel good,
the priest said it was bad,
yet the boy was no fool...

he grew up to discover,
that his dick was fat,
the boys would suck it,
like it was their last...

and then one day,
he got stabbed up the ass,
and after the weapon was fired,
it creamed out his ass...

this boy likes to shop,
some times he cant stop,
he slides and he slides,
his debit hard too hard...

but after the retailers,
have sucked his pockets dry
he turns right around,
and gives them another ride...

LOL

fuck me...
im back...

sorry...
vaycay dude...
ive got tons to fucking blog...
i really wanted to blog my pig sex with u...but who the fuck has the time to run to an internet cafe...pay...and have a lack of privacy writing this shit...
the recollections wont be as accurate...
they're already hazy in my mind...
but ill tell u one thing...
i bred and got bred lots :)

and besides... how am i supposed to screen and stroke to the porn i send your way in a cafe ? ...exactomundo !!

travelling without the laptop was weird. its almost feels like not travelling with a cell phone. I need global GPS at my fingertips at all times. so im thinking, i gotta get a fuckin iPhone. that and my trusty little Ericsson is starting to fritz. Think of the possibilities... i could screen porn at work or on the road, and post it on the blog that same day... any of you fucking pigs wanna contribute to the fund ??

fuck, why am i not making any money off this shit...
bloggin aint easy bitches... takes alot of time n effort...

you know why bloggers like to blog ??

other than the fact, that to be a true blogger...
you gotta have a somewhat selfish ego (please fellow pig bloggers, we all do :)
you either do it because you love to write....or be creative and artistic, or enjoy photography and film...
some of you do it for a living, or for profit...
and some of you do it to get more dick...

im not like that... i keep the blog private...
so ive never used the blog for dick...

but that might change...
ive got a few iders floating in my head...

why not make some cash outta this... and get more dick...
Eh ?
Fuck ya :))

but that shit could take me awhile... i got a busy fucking life too...

so in the mean time...
here's some fucking porn...

Sorry i havent fed you in awhile pigs...
i thought u guys could use the diet and exercise....
and its fucking summer !!
Get out there and fucking Pig It Up !!
get off the keyboard...and over to the park... or the gym... or the bathhouse... or the beach...and put ur ass or ur dick into good use !!

Feeding time... take it easy... dont gorge...
and remember to take ur time chewing...
oink

BonedNstoned






27.7.09

Duty Free

I brought you pigs back a gift from the Duty Free,
its pretty fresh shit...
they've got that weird sticker on them, so i guess they've been inspected by the local health department.
I think they've got Swine Flu...
the guy who checked me out at the Duty Free at Charles De Gaule looked like a hot pig....
if my flight wasn't nearly finished boarding, i would have def cruised him in the bathrooms down the hall...
"Last Call for Flight 69 to Toronto"
....fuck
i dreaded hearing those words...
i wasnt ready to cum back...
i gave piggy at the cash a wink, and told him to visit toronto soon :)
he smiles, and then gives me this slutty french sleaze look,
i wanted to grab the pack of M&M's beside the cash and shove them up his hole and eat them back out !!
Woof


...a lot more to follow soon :)
oh fuck ya !!

xox
BonedNstoned








25.6.09

Miss Me ??

yeah yeah yeah... i know...
its been awhile...

yeah... a long time coming :)

life is fucking busy...
im travelling alot...
im in a fucking relationship...

that takes time away from blogging...
and getting stoned...
and fucking...

yeah....
fuck, i dunno how much longer i can do it....
this whole relationship, boyfriend thing...

my friends are sorta shocked too....
they've seen a wide sleuth of guys walk thru my doors over the years...
i dunno what some know or dont know about me...

but dude...
this is good fucking pot....

i found out about this mystery dealer that was apparently really closely related to a tight buddy.... and it so happens to be an old dealer of mine... and fuck... this is good shit...

this deserves a good tune...


Miss Me :)


now... whadya think ... ive been an angel ??
well... sorta... angelic for me

ive had my cock sucked in a few bushes here n there when i go bike the trails....
no big deal...
a little fucking cocksucking doesnt hurt anyone...

low std risk...
fun, quick n easy...
but dude...
blowjobs dont fucking get me off....

i need a nice warm fucking raw hole to pump my seed into...
either that or get my own hole bred...

so i was online last week... and im chatting with this guy for years online but never met, kinda thing...
and i just get the feeling this kid aint a big slut...
so i dont really risk catching anything and giving it too the bf...
yeah... i cant deal with that shit...

he's mostly a bottom... my dick is craving ass...
so i go hook up at his place...
this little bohemian apartment...
and he looks different than his previous shots...
longer hair....
unshaven...
scruffy...
like some artsy street kid in ripped jeans...

so i feel his ass at the door... and its fucking nice n hard...
so my dick stirs right away...
im just here to pump a load out dude....
you'll fucking do !
so i stay...

so chit chat awhile... see a pack of euro smokes i luv on his dresser... and light one of his up...
i unbutton my jeans and tell him to get down on me...
the smoking fetish doesnt really turn me on much...
and i cant stand the fact i restarted... i wanna quit back in the fall pronto...
but fuck... im gonna fucking enjoy this...

so i let the cocksucker slurp n get my dick hard....
bend him over and start feeling his ass thru his ripped jeans...
get his undies off... finger his hole...
and what do i find ??

its a bit of a mangled hole...
he gets embarrased and apologizes...
claims its all the bike riding and fucking he's been doing over the years...
and im like dude !!
im sure ive done ALOT more fucking than you... and my ass dont look nasty at all...

so i lose my hard on...
but.. the flip to being vers...
you can still have fun :)

so this kid's packing a nice 7 inch cock... not thick.. but thick enuf :)
he's turned on as fuck... so i just start sucking on his dick...
get it nice n wet...
grab the poppers outta his hand... and start sniffing them myself...
hop over to his bed... bend over and tell him to start eating out my ass...

yeah... ive never had a guy refuse to eat my ass b4...
and they fucking luv it...
i dont get it...

i really dont think i've got that amazing an ass...
but they fucking luv it !!
guys get down on their knees in the fucking park and eat my ass !!
the bf worships my ass....
they go nuts...
i dont get it... but i do...
ive got a nice fucking ass :)

so he's munching away...
rubbing his gotee on my hole...
i just spit lube my own dick and his...
arch my back...
get in the yoga pose...
and aim my hole for his dick...

i dont usually get fucked by younger guys...
i tend to let the older fuck me...
and fuck over the young...

so i like to switch roles every once in awhile...
fuck... i luv dominating an older muscular boyish cub

thats the bf...
see :)
im the man in the relationship...
he's the woman...
he acts like the man...
but really... i run the show in the bedroom :p

i like to flip the tables... and play submissive bitch sometimes too...
im great at that...
so i get a kick outta playing the Male Alpha dog too...
or being the bitch to a kid...

so back to the kid...
he aims his dick towards my hole...
and im waiting for the burn...
but no...
my ass just swallowed his dick ...
it took a few more thrusts and a bit more spit... but i was spit roasted on this kid's dick in 30 seconds flat...
balls deep... and feeling it hit my prostate...
fuck... i luv big dick...

so we start a good fuck rhythm....
the bed springs r creaking...
im getting verbal...
and i sorta feel him soften up... and im thinking... fuck... i bet he already blew a load premature... but fuck...
i just let him go on... so he pounds away some more... and his hard on is coming back... it feels a bit wetter, so he may have cum... but i just let him go on... dont wanna embarass the kid by asking... and i know they're usually good for 2... so i just keep on talking dirty.... and then he tenses up but keeps on fucking...i sware he's pumping out another jizz load... so then i ask him if he's getting close ? ...ya know, just to be a shit disturber :)

he wants to see me cum... haha... little shit... i know you've blown 2 loads up my ass already....but now he's claiming to be a long-cummer... yeah right... my ass... my fucking ass driping 2 loads of goo...

so i said fuck it... worked up my dick, while he still slid his in and outta my ass... got myself close...
got up and shot a load right into his mouth...
and he fucking swallowed every fucking drop...

good boy...


ok... when i say fucking kid... he was like 26...
im 29...
anything under 26, is a kid... like fuck...

i'd fuck around with a 21 year old too...
but going 17, 18, 19... uh uh

that aint my thing...

i dont fuck with guys over 50...
ever !!

ive met hot looking 46 and 48 year olds over the years...
fuck...
oh yeah...
there are some hot fucking daddies out there !!
but over 50... ick... thats just sick dude...

if i ever reach the ripe old age of 50... i dont think i would ever fucking sleep with anyone under 30 !!

if i was 51.. i dont think id wanna sleep with anyone over 60...

hmmm... mabey i should make that a web pole ??

If you were 50 years old ?
Would you sleep with a 20 something ?
or an 80 something ?

fuck...
this is good fucking pot...

Miss Me ?

i know u did :)
--------------------------------------------------------