Baackrooms, Herr Diick & Dam Aass

well...i didnt waste any fuckin time on my 1st day overseas....
well...i did actually...douching and chattin with pigs online takes its time...right?

its like 6 fuckin am...and im eating a big fuckin thing of camembert cheese....the shit cost 2dollars here...like fuck...why is it $8 back home...and the shit is imported here too from france...ok..im kinda over exacturating....it expires tomorrow (or actually today), so the shit was on sale...like even the fuckin fancy crackers that are $5 back home are like less than a buck here....seriously! ...works out for me...my various accomodations cost & arm n leg...and i hardly eat...so savings anywhere r great....

so i fuckin arrive to this city...and i;ll let u figure it out...if u cant...ur fuckin morons... this is fuckin sin city... and if any of u say vegas...ill personally cum & tear ur holes apart.... lets just say, everyone here dresses like freaks...acts sketchy...talks slurred...and ive been stoned since i walked off the plane... BTW..to all u travellers...one of the airports i stopped at has this weird new security machine... I guess i looked "special", so they chose me "randomly" to test my bag...they just ruffled thru it & then this chick cums up to me with gloves..a tweezer and a cloth, and i was under the impression she was gonna swab my ass for olympic doping control...and she wipes around the straps and zippers of my bag...puts it in the machine and test's it for fuck knows what! Am i fuckin glad i didnt pack any reef with me...JfuckingC !! i joked around with security and asked em "if they found my cocaine all over the bag... So...note to all u fuckers...send ur shit wrapped up airtight in cargo...mail it ahead...but you'd be a moron to pack it on ur person...

So i arrive here...im in a super fuckin shitty mood...try spending 10 hrs on a plane overnight without a smoke...and dealin with prissy flight attendants who give u that fake smile and u feel like extracting their shiney white teeth & flushin it down the airplane's toilet into that shitty septic tank.... im bright n cheery eh...Im actually a pretty good flyer...i only give attitude when its given and deserved in return...but dont turn on the lights halfway thru a fucking flight over the atlantic when everyone is clearly still asleep to serve me ur fuckin stale ass muffin and acidy tasting prepackaged orange beverage...me n a friend actually smoked up good b4 i left home, so the 1st half of the flight was tolerable...then reality started setting in...me, cramped...in a small fuckin chair...sitting beside mr. & mrs.smith travelling to get on a mediterranean cruise and listening to the queen behind me banter about his fuckin life to the bitch beside him... I nearly lost it...i could have taken everyones fuckin eye out with my shit ass plastic earphones...the good thing about the flight...the screen in the seat front had the option of playing games... I beat the fuckin airplane computer twice in medium and then hard playing levels of computer chess! Rock on...I have my nerdy moments...its actually a really good fuckin game...i probably play it once a year...so im really not that nerdy...i needs me a nice fuckin chess board at home...Card playing makes me nervous and annoyed...chess actually calms me right the fuck down... not alot really does, unless its really good fuckin reef...

Oh, and the fuckin reef here...wow...im gettin me another flavour tomorrow...i had to wait 2 fuckin hrs for my room to get cleaned...so i walk around town...go to the shop across the street from where im stayin...and honestly...the guy & me spent like 20 mins talking , sniffin, and sampling different kinds of reef off a fuckin menu....they need to sell an "assortment pack" for us non-locals...fuck back home, u fuckin smoke what u can get ur hands on...take it or leave it... And here! U can order fuckin take out...funny thing is...after we talked for 20 mins...the guy ID's me...ok...i dont look that young...im unshaved...looking doped up anyhow from the plane trips....Oh..got me a box...i gotta forward shit "home"...not canada...home home...i boughts me lots of toys and clothes for the kiddies....and the shit dont fit in my suitcase....I left all my gear and a dildo at home for the kiddie's sake....fuck...all i need is my niece running around the house with a fuckin dildo flopping around her little hands and a leather jock on her head after snooping thru my shit looking for airport candy...i would def be the talk of the town...fuck! I gots them winter clothes...Walmart sells super cheap shit for kids, and they dont fuckin know the diff...and i gots em, Magic Sand...the new n improved PlahDoh! An Etch-A-Sketch...and Connect 4...i think i was 4y/o when i last played Connect Four...so much fun!

ok...ive been rambling on for an hour..im sorry...if all ur looking for is to jerk ur rod and shoot a load...START WACKING OFF HERE!!! ....so i get me a cpl hrs rest...get up in the afternoon...go to the supermarket...gets me the cheap ass cheeze and stuff (im eating a chocolate chip cookie as we speak)...u pot smokers know full well...it pays to be prepared...munchies at 4 am with no food in sight, can honestly be, the worst form of punishment...funny thing is...even mcDonalds here was closed at midnight...fuck...in a city of stoners, they sure dont eat out late... not that i would even touch a big mac and shitty fries with a 10inch cock...
So i chat online...get myself showered...unpack shit...i dont hit the town until midnite...and fuck, i needed the xtra slow pace with my insomnia and the sheer quantity of grass i was smoking...i think it was called "Diesel Haze" flavour...fuck, it was the shit that smelled the least fruity...and i liked the name...marketing weed after a big clothing brand that has hot models u wanna spear with ur cock from end to end, frankly sells me :)

I walked around town a bit...got the lay of the land again...its been a cpl years since ive returned...and check out some of the bars...this place has a cpl gay "ghetto's"...there's a scene for everyone here...so i hit up the piggy places...1st bar...ok...gets me a becks...heads down to the darkrooms...young guys..older guys...fat guys...sexy piggy guys...I luv it...its all about selection in this city!! so this midget...ok...any guy shorter than me i consider a midget, kinda sketchy but sleazy looking was checkin me out for awhile, so i grab his dick and rub it thru his jeans...takes me into a cabin, or darkroom or something...i pull out my fat dick...he pulls out his...not bad...not big...skinny-ish...im thinking "great...a nice size dick to open up my hole after a week or two"...fuck, i cant remember the last time i got fucked...obviously ITS TIME!! ....so he does a pretty good job sucking on my cock, so i go down and get his dick hard and wet...and when i turn my ass over to his dick, he snorts...turns around his ass and shows me his puffy ass lips...hmmm, this is turning me on...so i spit on my dick and catch him off his guard and ram my rod str8 up his hole with no warning...Haha...i fuckin love making bitches squeal....impaled on my dick, so i just push forward and start to ram fuck his ass in the booth...it was a really good ride....but i was just gettin my night started...and i didnt wanna blow my load just yet....so i pull out and make him suck his ass off my dick...guys back home kinda 'cringe' at that usually (i certainly dont), so i fuckin luved it when every fuckin guy i fucked tonite went down on my dick no questions asked! I fuckin luv it here!! when can i relocate! so i get back to dicking his hole, pulling out quickly and jabbing back in which made him moan in pain...luv it...guys dont give me a choice when im the cockslut...i just fuckin take it like a good little pig...so who says im gonna take it easy on any other fuckin slut.... i can totally be a gentle romantic fuck, if i wanna be....but who wants to! Its called fucking...if i wanted to pet a a bitch, i got friends with feline fuckin pussies at home i could rub upto...LOL

so i pull out of the sluts ass...zip up, and walk out...no way im shooting a 3 day load just yet....finish off my beer, and go outside for a smoke...like FUCK...even this fuckin city has gone "smoke free"....whats up with everyone being a Nazi lately...i grew up with this shit wafting around my nursery incubator after i was born for JC....and look how i turned out! Just Fuckin Fine, ThankYou Very Fuckin Much :) So i hit another bar across the lane...this one looked more empty...went to the can...lit me up some reef and then hit the backrooms...so im cruisin a cpl guys down there, and this hot guy smokin a ciggie gets my attention...dunno if it was more the guy, or the smoking...but i was on him...he pulls me into another little room, locks up and pulls out this nice fuckin fat dick...looked alot like mine...so im sucking it like no tomorrow, and he starts feeling up my ass...now im wearing my dirty jockstrap...frames the ass nicely...pigs luv it...i luv it...everyones happy...and the stench of my jock keeps away all the prissy guys...so we lube up his dick with lots of spit and he works it deep in my ass...im holding up against the wall and start to feel my head spin...weed...beer...poppers...i fuckin luv that feeling when ur head spins when a nice fat dick is pumping ur ass...he's fucking me for 10 mins and i start feeling a bit sore...so i get down and slurp up my ass of his cock...he's luvin it and he flips me around and sticks his dick right up my hole...we're totally talkin dirty the hole time...well, actually i am...he's just got a grip on me and ramming away....the pain u would usually feel after a raw fat dicking just went away and my ass went numb...i could take anything up my hole after that point, so i start to really egg him on with dirty talk...and i can feel his dick throb and twitch a cpl times which almost makes me think he came...but after a hole 30 mins in that little dirty dungeon room, the fucker is still pulling out and jab fucking my sloppy hole like a spear when he lets out this huge fuckin groan, and i can feel his dick soften up...my cummy ass is just leaking outta my hole and running down my hairy legs...i fuckin luv that feeling...u know u worked it hard for that load...me n buddy xchange a few words and he's off...so im stumbling around like i had just gotten fucked royally, and i bump into this other hot lookin pig in track pants...yum...he grabs me and back we go into the same little fuckin room...Jeez, i should just go write my name on the door! he pulls his dick out, and its short-ish...i wanna say 6inches...not fat...but after that fucker tore my ass apart, i could use the relief... i start sucking on his dick, and his fingers go down to my hole...he feels up my cummy hole and he literally started "gurring" and growling like a bear...that sound make my ass tremble...i knew i was gonna get another fuckin load...i ask him if he likes what he sees...and he spins me around and sticks his dick in my fresh cumhole...fuck, i luved feelin his dick sliding in my cummy wet hole...for 30 seconds...he warns me he's close...so i just ram my ass backwards and squeeze his dick with my hole a few times, and he's shooting another fuckin dickwadd of spunk in my ass....i went to fuckin town lickin the mess off his dick...yum yum! so i stumble outta the room again...my shorts r fuckin soaked in pigjuice...luv it! head outta the bar for another smoke...bump into 1st slut fuck, xchange a few words..and hit up the next bar...which...sucked ass...lame-O...Go-go Boy dancers stoned on a block jerking off, with skinny queens dancing around him...and these darkroom cubicles that were lined up like a gym locker room...they had totally ruined the place since last time...and they had this "upper level" darkroom with a ceiling so low i kept hitting my head on...like fuck! im not a tall guy by any means...5ft8 here...& when ur buzzed n horned trying not to stumble in the dark the last thing u need is to be hittin my stubborn ass head on the ceiling...jeez...i've fuckin banged my head on the bathroom entrance a cpl times here...the apt is "multilevel"...the buildings r all old...were ppl honestly THAT fuckin short a cpl hundred years ago...did we look like fuckin hobbits like Frodo Baggins & company from lord of the fuckin rings!

So i take off from that bar and head back towards the apt...little did i know when i booked this place...its beside a sauna...guys r literally fucking 15 metres away!! ...for all u americans who cant fuckin convert to fuckin metric...its like several "yards"...seriously like what the fuck is a fuckin "yard"...my backyard is big...my friend's is tiny...another's has awkwards angles...like who came up with the fuckin names...a "foot"...i have small feet for a guy...others have huge honkers...imagine my confusion as a kid when i had to learn that system, cause canada is half/half when it comes to measures....Half ass metric...and half ass american...almost anything canadians do, is half ass this and half ass copycat american...anyways, im ranting...so on my way back to the apt...i stop by the sauna...long story short, cause im tired...i wanna nap...its alredy daylight outside...I didnt get fucked anymore...i fucked a cpl slutty holes...found this guy lying back ass naked in a darkroom...he looked hot...and I could "feel" he was young...ate his ass...tasted musky...rammed my dick in his ass, and to my surprise, it was a silky ride...and we all know what that means...CUMHOLE!!! ...so i totally would fuck him...get down and eat out his hole...the fuckin cream tasted sooooo fuckin good running outta his ass, and god only knows who's fuckin load or loaDS of spooge were up there....i got so turned on, i had to give him my 3 day load after eating out everything i took away :p...i went right back down and ate him out again...Im a greedy little fucking cum hungry pig..OINKS!!!

ok...me gots to get some sleep...and if the fuckin guy upstairs starts jumping up & down again, i will break down that fuckin door and kill him with the airline earphones....earlier in the afternoon, him and a buddy were jumping up and down like maniacs watchin the Olympics...the stench of grass was intense...i could totally understand...i almost joined em...but they were kinda fugly lookin so i didnt ask...like seriously...Who the fuck can watch the lame ass faked, glittered, mockery that's going on over there....especially when you're in a great fuckin city like this where the beer...the dick...the weed..and all the cummy hole u could possible want is at ur fuckin doorstep...in my case, literally...Day 1...signing off...Stoned and fuckin Boned :)

Herr pigboy