Back to Business...

well piggies...

i knows its been awhile...

i told u i was quitting smoking....

and ive barely lit a joint in a month either...

well... im lying...

i had some to last a couple days...
dental procedure...
a friend was kind enough to give me some...

im such a baby when it cums to the dentist....
but there is no fucking way im going into the dentist sober....
ive gotta be stone fuckin stoned....

a buddy later asked me if i scored some Laughing Gas...
alas no...
i kinda think the dentist knew i was stoned...
answering every question with an "uh huh" all glass eyed, sorta gave it away...
that, and i was laughing like a hyena watching South Park while the fat cunt fiddled away on a filling...
but i did score 20 toothbrushes and 5 tubes of toothpaste...

now... some of you may call it stealing....
but when u goto the dentist's bathroom, and he's got a box of them sitting beside the can open...
and i just happened to have my gym bag with me...
and i figured out the fucker charges me more than he should be...
well...
thats no excuse...
i confess...
i took the cheap ass toothbrushes !!
Yes...
it was me motherfuckers!!
i took em all...
fucking fat cunt dentist...

its like going to the self checkout at the supermarket...
i buy the most expensive tomatoes... and i punch in the code for the cheapest ones...
please.... they're tempting me with corruption....
its not like a whole supermarket chain is gonna go bust cause of little ol' me saving a few pennies....
they're the stupid asses who put trust in the customer to punch in the produce codes...
not my problem i happen to be a dumb blonde and i punch in the wrong one...
oops :)


so lets just say if any of you happen to drop by for a spliff or a drinkey...
ur more than welcum to help urself to a toothbrush...
its the least i could do for a fuck...

cause if there's anything i cant stand in a man... its bad breath...

funny thing...
the last set of boyfriends always told me i never had bad breath....
cause i always told em' about theirs...
while they usually told me my armpits smelled sweaty...

honey...
i know how to use a stick of deoderant...
i just choose not to slather it on 24-7
at least my teeth will never rot...

--------------------------------------------------
so i had a bit of pot for a couple days....
but i didnt feel like blogging...

and most of you come here to jack off...
i dont see any of you knocking on my door offering me a joint...
mabey if some of my friends did, i wouldnt be such a cunt....

that and i made a promise not to blog sober...

....so why am i here?
well... i may not necessarily be stoned...

but im under the influence of sleeping pills and red wine...
and my head is fucking spinning...
cant sleep...

i was hoping a good jack off would do the trick so here i am...
so ive gone thru half a bottle...

its really quite good....
its some fruity Argentinian shiraz...
quite nice...
makes the sleeping pills go down nice...

well...

lets do what we're all here to do....

Back to Business folks...

There should be enough video there to last awhile....

or U Can Suck My Balls Mr.Garrison !!


nitey nite :)